My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
