I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
