hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
