The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think I died a long time ago.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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