Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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