Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
