And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
