Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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