I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
