kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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