I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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