i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize