i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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