He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
