I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Randomize
