He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
