I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
