Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
