Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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