youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
