A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
