i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
