i need an iv and a liver transplant
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
