Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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