I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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