I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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