if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize