apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
