Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
