woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
