I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm at about main and main street
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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