Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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