Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
