i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
