...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
