Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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