So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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