Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
