i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
