Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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