why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
