He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
