didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
