we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
