Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
