I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
