Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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