Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Randomize
