garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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