My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
