Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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