You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
