omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
