he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
