My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
